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Sunday, January 15, 2012

Friend Enemy or Frenemy?


Over the years I have met thousands of people within the BBW Community. Would I call them all friends? No, I would not.  I would call them acquaintances. My real true “thick and thin”, “got your back 100%” is a small circle of friends. Some of my friends I have known since I was a child. Though they’ve moved away, gotten married, or what ever, you always keep in touch. The friends that stick with you through the good, the bad and the ugly are the ones you keep. Some of my friends have been in my life for ten or more years. Kool-aid and I have been friends for 27 years and still keep in touch. When we were growing up she was the one friend I could trust to help me hide the body; if there was one to hide. I am sure to this day I could call her and say I need you and she would be here for me. Friends help you, listen to you, cry with you, hold your $900.00 new blonde tracks as you puke in the bathroom of a dive bar in Costa Mesa, California. True friends support you, encourage you, love you, keep your secrets and protect you at all cost. A real friend doesn’t throw shit in your face that they have done for you. A true friend should never remind you what they have done for you. If you feel the need to always remind your “so called friends” that you did X Y Z for them, you aren’t their friend. I was the friend that was going to be eaten by the bear in the woods so my other friends could run away. That’s the kind of friend I am when I say I am your friend. I would have been eaten alive for the team.

Some people feel the need to have an entourage. The entourage is the first to start back stabbing one another to “buy in” for the BFF position. Lord, have mercy on my soul but I thank you daily that I no longer have the job of being the BFF. Nothing was ever good enough. The pressure, the drama, things being thrown across the room, crack heads, homeless people who thought they had a friend but were just let in to stay to become a domestic slave to the Divine one. Friends don’t verbally abuse you and call you a Cunt or anything outside of your name. Friends don’t throw temper tantrums when they don’t get their way each and every minute of every single day 365 days a year 24/7. Friends don’t tell you how disgusting the fat rolls on your thighs look just because they hate that part of their own body. They don’t spend time talking to your boyfriend and asking him how he can be with a woman with such big thighs or such a big belly; before I had it removed. Even though they are suppose to be all about size acceptance. The list can go on and on but I know what a real friend shouldn’t do to me. So called friends smile in your face as they lie to you. I think it is so pathetic that a friend would give you their word then find a reason to back peddle. In the mind of the friend/enemy they find some reason to be mad at you so they can go back against their word. What ever happened to “your word is your bond”? Does that not apply to anyone anymore? Do people in general just tell you what they think you want to hear? I would have to say yes about that. I don’t have the patience to be fake with people. My life is precious and I have gone to great lengths to prolong it. I have zero energy to be around people I don’t like and aren’t really my friends. The truth always comes out and I am sure there are so many lies that haven’t been uncovered yet. At this point they all deserve each other and can keep the lies, drama, betrayal, cheating, stealing and what ever else sick shit went down behind my back.

True story and a perfect example of someone who is not my friend. Former friend Fiona aka FiFi started having sex with my psycho stalker ex-boyfriend one week after we broke up in July 2011. Then the Divine one posted photos of them making out on Facebook so that I would have another knife in my back. I wonder how FiFi’s husband would feel if he knew? I doubt he would care since he has his own girlfriend. Not only did they try and make sure I found out about it but the douche bag my ex was kind enough to send me a text message with the details. I also have a voice mail but it was really graphic so I won’t torture you with it. I guess she thought the judge was over reacting when he issued me a restraining order against him. I found myself trapped in a drama triangle, so I removed myself from it. We do have a choice in life with what we will and won’t put up with. Following my gut and getting out of toxic friendships/relationships is the best thing I could have done for myself. Soon after the people who have always loved me were waiting for me to come back to them. My true friends still loved me and were there to pull the knives out of my back. When things get rough you find out who your real friend are. It’s like turning on the light and watching the roaches run because they like to shit all over your place in the dark. If you see one of them there are a million of them waiting to crawl all over you the minute you fall a sleep. IMO she has no self worth. As far as I am concerned she is as dirty as a roach. Raid anyone? Text message below. I am keeping my blog real. My stories are true and I can back up everything I have and will post on here. MoMo out.



------ SMS Text ------
From: 3108951731
Received: Sep 28, 2011 2:43 AM
Subject: I have been fuk4n fifi in ur bed...

I have been fuk4n fifi in ur bed since the day u finally left us! Kat set it all up and its nice and clean pussy! Gr8 change from ur smell ass! Yum
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®



Yes they took the time to send me this photo!

 fifi derek



The meaning of the word according to Wikipedia.

Friendship is a form of interpersonal relationship generally considered to be closer than association, although there is a range of degrees of intimacy in both friendships and associations.

Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:



  • The tendency to desire what is best for the other

  • Sympathy and empathy

  • Honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart

  • Mutual understanding and compassion; ability to go to each other for emotional support

  • Enjoyment of each other's company

  • Trust in one another

  • Positive reciprocity — a relationship is based on equal give-and-take between the two parties.

  • The ability to be oneself, express one's feelings and make mistakes without fear of judgment.























5 comments:

  1. I thought a fifi was a fake pussy that a loser makes when he is in prison..same difference! Regarding the "other" friend...she never seems to keep friends for a long time. Actions speak louder than words. I wouldn't trust her farther than I can throw her (which isn't far at all) She has spewed filth about me...that is a scary sad person! I am glad you are away from it all, even though I am not in the BBW scene I still have good friends from there. And I am glad I still have contact with you...I love you MoMo, and I would still have your back no matter what! And your ex looks like a pedophile...I wouldn't be surprised if he was listed on WatchDog.com! Hugs!

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    1. Love you too and thanks for having my back. LOL @ watchdog.

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  2. Mo, I remember you telling me it was bad, but I didn't know it was this bad. I am so sorry that you had to go through this. OMG. Let this go...take care of you. The universe has a way of making things right. Rely on it. It may take time but it will happen. Again, I am sorry you went through this.

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  3. MoMo! I have gone through the "fake friends" and then been dogged relentlessly on the Internet thing, but none as severe as knowing hour ex-hubby, etc etc. I too have a blog and i wont "blogjack" (just click on my name and check my blog, i dont hide behind "Anonymous" like my online stalkers, who have stopped, finally, did. Start with the earliest and work your way up, i took out the passionate posts that i had left up for a time from when i was flustered at what came my way, sure. People see what they want to in that game, with their biased audiences and agendas and whatnot. Its all over and done but yes, i was stalked online something serious until a couple of weeks ago) but i am familiar with comments like "Anonymous" being "nasty nasty nasty" with questions restating rumors and allegations that just arent true. Why i mention this is because i really enjoy your blogs, and i too had a few with posting up evidence (someone conveniently forgets the stop-payment not bounced check no STOP PAYMENT omg) http://tinyurl.com/735fn5a http://tinyurl.com/7j5v4ao http://tinyurl.com/76wondr Im not here to stir that up, just to mention that i too had to fight online with people and that i since perhaps took down in an interest to not further drama, and because people were only calling me "angry" and "psycho" and whatever, and it was like a tag-team of people from DIMS (though you showed me love on there!!! It means a lot to me!) that keep it going, always changing the story to suit their needs, lying all the way and like you said, going out of their way to let me know. What i do at that is smile and laugh, and as the touch of disgust goes down i then go about making it as if it never happened. Im not from the same walk of life as you, but i do love the BBWs women whereas most just ridicule them, etc etc. Im just turning 30 this year and ive never been in a relationship and i have the High Functioning Aspergers that people ridicule me about as they do Sarah Palin's mentally challenged child/stepchild/whatever.. and thats just mean and horrible, mocking legitimate disabilities and impairment.s Mine just so HAPPENS to make me 1. Energetic, 2. Eccentric, 3. Intelligent. People dont get in my way, but they sure tried. I have a life to live and i cant cater to or help one's self-loathing.. the tyraids that ensued put marathon runners to shame for their endurance. So i really respect you a LOT! You arent making blogs in attack of others, or even defense of yourself since its seen as fodder for the haters (i have a few, dedicated ones. All middle-aged, im not worried about the kids...)

    Monique, i want to say that i mean it when i admire your perseverance and i hope the "psycho stalker ex-boyfriend Darryl" you talk about situation gets resolved, it seemed like they should have helped you when he let the oil out of your truck. You took pictures. You provided EVIDENCE! I believe you! I know the LA County did not take you seriously. Best wishes and godspeed, sorry for the long-ish post.. wanted to share that "I DO know where you are coming from" minus the weight loss angle, but everything else i can relate to. Thank you SO MUCH! Much respect, - Freshley "dust your shoulders off" Smith.

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  4. MoMo. I think about you often and even though we don't know each other all that well or keep in touch very much I think of you as one of my true sisters. sometimes it hurts your eyes when the lights come on but the daylight is much brighter honey. Love ya and always wishing you well.

    Felecia

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