Change: It Happens

In the last year I have experienced many major life changes. I was a victim of domestic violence and people told me not to tell. Don’t ask don’t tell is bullshit. Not telling someone is how you end up dead. I have learned the hard way that the law can’t do much for you even with a restraining order. I filed a police report every time Derek violated the restraining order. I stood in front of a Judge, an open court room full of people and played a voice mail where Derek threatens to kill me. As I left the court room a woman took my hand and told me to stay safe. I was touched by the kindness of a complete stranger. Maybe she was there for the same reason? No matter what it was, it touched me. I knew I was not alone and I had to tell others what happened to me. I still have nightmares about Derek trying to kill me. I wake up in tears sometimes because the dreams feel so real. I truly have lost hope in the justice system. I followed the rules and he got three years probation for torturing me and threatening my family.

The friends in my life now have been here long before Kathleen Divine was around. When my entire world fell apart last year they helped me pick up all of the pieces. As the time passes so does my anger. I am still very hurt and I have no idea how long it will take for those feelings to change. I never want to see Derek Peter again. I stay as far away as I can from Orange County. It is full of bad memories. Yet Derek still finds the time to attempt murder by running me off the road, slash my tires, drain the oil out of my car, threaten and stalk me. The torture in the last year has been unbearable. I even went as far as asking my therapist if it was my fault. I knew it wasn’t, but I needed some sort of verification to help me get past it. One day he loved me. The next day he was cheating on me. The day after that Kathleen Divine handled our breakup by moving Derek into her office across the hall from me. I know right about now if you are new to my Blog you are saying this cant be true. It really is sad that it is all true. I am still sad it all came to this insanity. My life is a Lifetime Movie of the week.

Kathleen Divine asked me to remember the good times we use to have. The betrayal runs so deep I cant remember much before it. Then when Derek turned on Kathleen she ran to me for help. My only suggestions were get a restraining order and an alarm system. Oh and next time don’t live with your best friends ex. The worst part of the last year was the loss of my best friend. Kathleen Divine use to be a part of my family. My mom was her black mama, and I loved her family like they were my own. After all of the years we spent as friends never in a million years did I think our friendship would ever end. I found a card the other day that arrived with flowers from Kathleen two years ago when I was sick. That was my friend who wrote that card and sent those flowers. I miss her at times but then the bad memories take over. I don’t know this evil diva. This has all been like a bad divorce. There was money, bills, property to split which I still don’t have and now the law suit I filed against Kathleen Divine is coming up. I refuse to be mistreated ever again.

If I can help someone with my stories then my life shall not be in vain. I have grown and learned from this experience. I still don’t trust men, but I am not sure if I ever have. I have had the support of my entire family through all of this. My parents have been my rocks. They will forever be solid in my life. I am blessed, thankful, loved and relieved that I am getting closer to closure. I was happy to celebrate my birthday this year. I am another year older and wiser. The next year of my life will be better, because I am making it better. My life, my rules, my stories and you can’t change the facts. I guess if it had gone any other way I might not have rediscovered my love of writing. Maybe one day I will write a book about my crazy life. Thank you all for reading, even the haters.

MoMo out!