Size Acceptance

Self acceptance

Self acceptance is being loving and happy with who you are now. It’s an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept and support who you are at this moment.

For example, think of acceptance of yourself like being okay with your house right now. One day you might want a bigger house or you have this dream house in your mind, but there are advantages to your smaller home now. So you can be happy with the house you have now and still dream of your bigger house as a reality later.

Self acceptance leads to a new life with new possibilities that did not exist before because you were caught up in the struggle against reality. People have trouble accepting themselves because of a lack of motivation. Some have the misconception that if you are happy with yourself you won’t change things about yourself. This isn’t true; you don’t have to be unhappy with yourself to know and actively change things you don’t like.

According to Wikipedia the above is the meaning of self acceptance. How many people do you personally know that truly have self acceptance? I for one can admit I don’t know any. People say one thing and mean another. One minute they love their body the next they are altering it. No judgment from me at all when it comes to making changes to your body, life or anything else you are not happy with. Inside of the Size Acceptance community lies many subcultures. There is fat on fat bigotry. You may not be fat enough for one person or too fat for another. We embrace the community at first because we think we have found the lost city of gold. Once inside you find out it has just as much dysfunction as a twisted family. They will judge you for making changes to your own body. Like I always say, My body My choice!

You find yourself at functions where you can be with people you have things in common with. What you end up with if you aren’t careful is being used, exploited, degraded, emotionally abused and even bullied by others within the safe zone. Back in the days of the great NAAFA Convention that everyone waited all year for were many sub-divisions. I was a super size BBW back then and at NAAFA those were the women in the highest demand. The midsize BBW’s as they were once called were treated poorly by the super size women. I was even guilty of this mistreatment once by asking someone smaller why they were there. The smaller BBW’s had hell to pay for not being big enough. They come to a place who's name spells out The National American Association of Fat Acceptance, yet we were unable to welcome others of all sizes. The times may have changed but the behavior is still the same.

Remember that place that claimed to be the one and only Size Acceptance club in OC? You already know, even if you haven’t already experienced it first hand, that the promoter is a fat hater. She hates her own body and loves to be able to say she is the smallest one in the building. What kind of person uses others to make themselves feel better about their own flaws? I will let you all answer that question for yourself. There is so much hate, judgment, belittling, backstabbing, gossiping, recycling of men going on who has the time for the real meaning of acceptance. If you cant accept yourself how can you accept others. Plenty of denial lies within our community. My good friend use to say “We are just a bunch of sick people trying to get well”. Or was that just an excuse for the mistreatment of others within our very own safe zone.

By now you know it is not a safe zone in any way. By now you know which men troll in the background and have you as his back door woman. If you haven’t met his friends or family and he only comes over late at night than he doesn’t really accept you. He could be dealing with his own self-esteem issues so he thinks he can only get a fat chick to sleep with him. Ladies don’t play into the stereo types that fat women are only good for sex or blow jobs in parking lots. Have some self respect and learn to say “hell no, I am worth more than an $8.00 drink” before you put out. It would take years to share all of the things I have seen within our very community. I know for sure we aren’t united or one big happy family in any way. Once upon a time it may have had the shine of that big red apple, but now it’s more like a raisin in the sun. My friends and I look back and think about those good old days. The traveling to different conventions all over the USA. Making new friends, meeting new people, real people not the slimy variety. Endless good times and lots of good memories.

Those good old days are coming back and changes are being made within our very community..That is If you all decide to support our community instead of letting it fall apart around us, otherwise we will have no community at all to speak of. We need to seriously revive this bitch and make it better for everyone involved. Make it new and shiny again so it will attract good people who really want to change history. It doesn’t always have to repeat itself. Do your part and support your local vendors, clubs, parties and anything else positive going on in your area. Start with Big Girl Gear Plus & Super Plus Size Fashion. Family owned and operated here since 1996 and still kicking shop 24/7 at www.biggirlgear.com 

MoMo Out!

Back in the day.