The Last Meatball

It was August of 2010 and I was scheduled for my first Plastic Surgery to remove extra skin. I have lost so much weight that of course I look deflated and there are plenty of rolls. My body is now the smaller version of an FA’s dream body. The big butt and thighs will stay with me forever. I had to check into the hospital by 5am. We drove in separate cars because on check out I was going home to recover. My medical care is very important to me so I had to be close to my Doctors. I live a few hours away from the hospital so staying with Kat was the logical thing to do. We were tired but she kept me laughing so that I was calm. I wasn’t afraid to have surgery anymore. I was excited to have this 30 pounds of skin removed. Everything was going well. I am admitted, prepped in pre-op, given IV drugs to relax, spoken to both Doctors and the Anesthesiologist. We are set, Kat say good by and off I go to surgery.

As they are taking me to surgery they noticed something wrong with my blood work. Since I have Lupus it showed a  Lupus Anticoagulant in my blood. This can cause one of two things, you can get a blood clot or you can bleed out. The surgery was now on hold and I was going to be sent home. I had no way to get home. Since I was given narcotics they cant let you leave. I was told they would have to report it to the police and I would be charged with a DUI. The nurse calls Kat and tells her what happened and that she needed to come back and pick me up. She flipped out and I could hear her yelling at the nurse. I got on the phone and tried to calm her down. She was half way home so she picked up a friend so they could drive my truck back to her house. They kept missing each other and she ran into her walking along the side of the highway is what I was told by Kat. The nurse looked at me and said pray for her she needs to find Jesus. I laughed out loud because she doesn’t even believe in prayer. She used to tell me it was like begging. The power of prayer has kept me alive this long so I will roll with it.

They arrived at the hospital to pick me up. The nurse rolled me out in a wheelchair then Kat exchanged words with the nurse and not nice ones. She was hostile because she had been up since 4am. Note so was I. She was stuck in traffic and got lost looking for our friend. Of course that was also my fault. I cried the entire car ride home. I would expect my BFF to be there for me. This surgery was so important to me and now I had to go see a blood specialist to get this figured out. We get back to the house and there she starts. It was my fault she had to get up. It was my fault that there was an accident on the freeway. It was my fault our friend wasn’t in the spot she was told to meet Kat. It was my fault I didn’t have surgery and I wasted her entire day. I was told never again will I take you to the hospital. I am still out of it from the drugs so I am really emotional. I walk away and she goes upstairs. I had not eaten in a day so I was hungry. We had a left over meatball with some mashed potatoes. Jen, one of her domestic slaves AKA a freeloader and a looser was in the kitchen. I never liked Jen and she always rubbed me the wrong way. She said “that’s my meatball”. I said “last I checked Jen you have no job and you don’t buy any food in this house”. I heat up the last meatball as she goes up stairs to cry to Kat. I hear stomp stomp stomp, it was her I am pissed off stomp as she comes down stairs.

Let the yelling and screaming begin over the last fucking meatball. No concern for me at all and what I had just been through at the hospital. Not one ounce of compassion that something may seriously be wrong with me so they are sending me to a blood specialist. Not one ounce of compassion that I had my heart broken because I had worked and waited years to loose enough to have this Pannus removed AKA semi tummy tuck. Shame on me for fucking up her day and for eating the last meatball that I paid for anyway. Shame on me for eating the last of the mashed potatoes that I peeled and cooked the day before.  I was then accused of just wanting to go to the hospital to get shot up with drugs. I was in shock, then I lost it. I have no idea all of the things I yelled and screamed at Jen and Kat. I felt like I was in the middle of being  punked. The hurt and anger I felt that day will never leave me. I will never forget that day. It was traumatic for me to be treated so badly by my BFF. If it isn’t what Kat wants, then she doesn’t care. I learned that day things were moving onto a whole new level of emotional abuse and anger all focused towards me or anyone that didn’t kiss her ass. I am not nor will I ever be a kiss ass. I will stick up for myself till my last breath.

A couple months go by and I get the go ahead to have surgery. I drove myself and my family came with me. My brother and his wife met me there at 5am and drove an hour just to meet me there. My parents drove almost two hours to pick me up. I am so blessed to have a strong family that will always be there for me. Kathleen was once a part of my family but not anymore. If I ever went back they would kidnap me and have some sort of an intervention…lol. They love me and I love them. I am not sure if I will ever have another BFF. I know for sure I will never be in any kind of relationship that involves any kind of abuse. None at all. If you don’t have my back and I cant trust you then we don’t need to hang out ever. When the fight was over I ate the meatball in front of Jen, just because I could. Then I went to bed. Stress is not good for my heart or Lupus. 

MoMo Out!