Random Losers & the Douchebag of the Week #5

2:21pm Rita Ben

Hello
How are you? My Name is Ritaben,i am happy to know you, i saw your profile you looks very gentle that is why i write to you. please i will like you to contact me with my email Address (ritaben81@yahoo.com) so that i will be able to tell you about myself ok,remember that ages,color or distance does not matters,but love matters a lots in life,GOD bless?
July 2
Enrico BarreraJr 

• i want you.

June 29 Aek Ka

• hello how r u

This dude is from Algeria. He wrote into www.biggirlgear.com on Facebook hoping for a reply from one of the models. 

June 23
Barry Bomboly

• hello mom
  
• June 23
• 6:02am
  
• Sehilelhadj Elhadjsehil
  
  Please send me a friend request
  
• June 25
• 5:03pm
• Sehilelhadj Elhadjsehil

Please send me a friend request

• July 27
• 
  7:03am
  
• Biggirl Gear  no
  
• 4:08am
  Sehilelhadj Elhadjsehil
  
  I miss my love Open online full month ago You will see me on camera for later
  
• Conversation started June 28
• 8:23am Sunday Stephen

hello am stephen from west africa.am new to this group,really love your pix......i want to be your friend

• Conversation started Saturday
• 
  10/12, 3:31am
  Ernest Harlen
  
  Good morning
  
• 
  10/12, 3:47am
  Monique
  
  Hello
  
• 
  10/12, 4:51am
  Ernest Harlen
  
  Hello cutie
  
• Today
• 
  6:08am
  Monique
  
  A cutie is one of those baby oranges. I have a name.
  
• 
  6:11am
  Ernest Harlen
  
  I meant no disrespect,I thought I was complimented you
• Sent from East Saint Louis, IL

• Conversation started October 5
• 
  10/5, 2:43am
  George Carlos
  for the first time i see your pic at san diego bbw bash event i said i know that lady and the realized you are MONIQUE SSBBW my best lady shape ever i subscribed to your site in 2006 i think and i love the tons and i dream one day travel to america just to meet you. Now you look sexy but not like you used too God bless you and have a nice life. Las thing if you could help me am trying to find a job in america and leave ma country thanks hub xoxo
  
• October 5
• 
  10/5, 9:30pm
  Monique
  Now that I am smaller I am no longer good enough for you is what you're saying. I don't know you, so why would I help you get a job here? I am not fat enough for you anymore. Between every line you just wrote you told me I was no longer good enough. FYI I am too good for you! You have a nice life and leave me alone.
  
• Wednesday
• 
  10/9, 2:58pm
  George Carlos
  
  Ok and am sorry for disturbing you, thanks
  
  

This is George Carlos the Douche bag of the week.
 

• Thedarkkinght Knight
  
  Hi sexy
  
• Tuesday
• 
  10/8, 1:24pm
  Thedarkkinght Knight
  
  how r u
  
• Wednesday
• 
  10/9, 11:01am
  Monique
  
  I'm fine you?
  
• 
  10/9, 12:46pm
  Thedarkkinght Knight
  
  i am ok 2
  u look so nice 

Sent from Mobile

• Conversation started March 28
• 
  3/28, 5:09am
  James Fox
  
  hello how r u?
  
• March 29
• 
  3/29, 4:33am
  Monique
  
  I am fine thanks for asking. Who are you?
  
• March 31
• 
  3/31, 3:38pm
  James Fox
  
  iam james .. i know we have not talked before
  just i liked ur name ... so i sent uhello
  nicw photo btw
  
• April 1
• 
  4/1, 9:58pm
  Monique
  
  OK thanks.
  
• April 3
• 
  4/3, 7:19am
  James Fox
  
  where u from
  
• April 7

4/7, 12:55am
Monique
West coast no where near you. You need to find someone closer to you. Unless you are going to fly out to date me.

Conversation started April 3

4/3, 12:30am
King Stewart

You are very sexy and pretty and keep up the good work
I am interested in getting to know you also

• Conversation started April 6

4/6, 9:22am
Gokmen Sayan

Hey gorgeous face!

• Conversation started February 22
• 
  2/22, 6:02am
  Tobian Tools
  
  where r u from
  
• 
  2/22, 6:16am
  Monique
  
  Do I know you?
  
• 
  2/22, 6:17am
  Tobian Tools
  
  well yea and no where facebook friends and I.was trying to know u better
  
• 
  2/22, 6:17am
  Monique
  
  So we have never met socially?
  
• 
  2/22, 6:18am
  Tobian Tools
  
  I don't think so , what city r u in
  
• 
  2/22, 6:19am
  Monique
  
  Southern CA
  
• 
  2/22, 6:19am
  Tobian Tools
  
  o ok im in Memphis , r u single ?
  
• 
  2/22, 6:20am
  Monique
  
  Yes I am, are you? how old are you?
  
• 
  2/22, 6:21am
  Tobian Tools
  
  yes, im 35
  
• 
  2/22, 6:22am
  Monique
  
  What do you do for a living?
  
• 
  2/22, 6:30am
  Tobian Tools
  
  car sales and u?
  
• 
  2/22, 6:31am
  Monique
  
  plus size women's clothing and accessories.
  
• 
  2/22, 6:33am
  Tobian Tools
  
  nice, any children? do u travel often ? e
  
• 
  2/22, 6:38am
  Monique
  
  no kids and I love to travel
  
• 
  2/22, 6:55am
  Tobian Tools
  
  im interested and would like to take.things further
  
• February 23
• 
  2/23, 1:16pm
  Monique
  
  What are you interested in? How can anything go further with you living across the country?
  
• 
  2/23, 1:56pm
  Tobian Tools
  
  im into being happy, focused and prosperous in life and I fly for free so I can travel where I want when I want
  
• February 25
• 
  2/25, 3:22am
  Monique
  
  Why do you get to fly for free? Are you going to date me by flying in on the weekends? Do we get to take trips since you fly for free?
  
• 
  2/25, 5:17am
  Tobian Tools
  
  yes and yes
  
• 
  2/25, 5:30am
  Monique
  
  You didn't answer my first question.
  
• February 26
• 
  2/26, 5:59am
  Tobian Tools
  
  family works for airline
  
• February 27
• 
  2/27, 12:46am
  Monique
  
  Tell me about yourself? How old are you?
  
• February 27
• 
  2/27, 11:24am
  Tobian Tools
  
  why don't I just call u
  
• February 27
• 
  2/27, 5:59pm
  Monique
  
  I am not ready to give out my number. I don't know anything about you. My last relationship was not good and I have a stalker. That makes me think twice before I give out too much info.
  
• February 28
• 
  2/28, 5:12am
  Tobian Tools
  
  lol I understand bae but im not the stalker
  
• March 2
• 
  3/2, 2:51am
  Monique
  
  No one starts off as a stalker. If they did do you think I would have dated him? LOL that made me laugh.
  
  

• 1/29, 2:59am
  Eng Salah
  
  loooove ur pics u r tooooooo beautiful can i add u plz ?
  
• April 13, 2012
• 
  4/13, 9:26am
  Eng Salah
  
  hello
  
• October 29, 2012
• 
  10/29, 12:23pm
  Eng Salah
  
  loooooooooove ur pics u r toooooo beautiful can i add u plz ane be friends ?

• Conversation started October 12
• 
  10/12, 12:29am
  Nafti Hedi
  
  hello
  
• October 13
• 
  10/13, 2:46pm
  Nafti Hedi
  
  hi
  
• Wednesday
• 
  10/16, 1:39pm
  Nafti Hedi
  
  hi
  
• Sunday
• 
  10/20, 3:37am
  Monique
  
  Hi who are you?
  
• Monday
• 
  10/21, 3:13am
  Nafti Hedi
  
  Hi im hedi
  
• 
  10/21, 4:41am
  Monique Jurgen
  
  why did you decide to write to me?
  
• Monday
• 
  10/21, 10:40am
  Nafti Hedi
  
  Coz im interested in you
  
• Monday
• 
  10/21, 3:36pm
  Monique
  
  What for?
  Where do you live?
  
• Today
• 
  1:23am
  Nafti Hedi
  
  Im from tunisia. Haw about you
  
• 
  1:53am
  Monique
  
  I live in a land far far away from you and see no point in this conversation. Unless you own a jet and can fly over for a drink then what is the point to any of this?
  
• 
  3:03am
  Nafti Hedi
  
  Yes but we can chat its ok for me i like that only if you dont like. We can see us by cam. I prefer to chat with a real woman like u monique
  
• 
  3:28am
  Monique
  
  I don't want to chat there is no point. It would be a waste of my time. Have a nice life and good bye.

• Conversation started October 13
• 
  10/13, 12:21am
  Fadi Ibrahim
  
  Hey Monique U have nice pics . hope I could get to know u
  
• Thursday
• 
  10/17, 5:37am
  Monique
  
  How do you know I have nice pics since my profile is private? Why do you want to get to know me?
  
• Friday
• 
  10/18, 2:23am
  Fadi Ibrahim
  
  I just simply like the way u look sweety !
  
• Saturday
• 
  10/19, 2:52am
  Monique
  
  You didn't answer any of my questions. This si the point where you just go away quietly but I know you will come back with some drama.
  
• 
  10/19, 4:13am
  Fadi Ibrahim
  
  Morning Monique ... u made me laugh .. . but it is always nice to smile lol Dont worry am not the type of guy who try to find his way out w a drama story. U asked me 2 questioned and I've answered 1 only as the first Q u have to know by yourself that some pic r public. I see that u r making it a drama where it is all very simple !
  
• Sunday
• 
  10/20, 3:23am
  Monique
  
  I am not making any drama. You contacted me, remember that part? So far I have no idea why or what you want. I love how you turned it around and said I would be the one with drama. You even taking the time to message me was the beginning of your drama.
  
• Sunday
• 
  10/20, 9:44am
  Fadi Ibrahim
  
  I know that I contacted u ? and I answered u ... Monique it very simple its either would like to that we be friends and get to know each other or u refuse.
  
• 
  10/20, 10:29am
  Monique
  
  I need to know all about you before I decide if we can be friends. So start talking about yourself or goodbye.
  
• 
  10/20, 10:52am
  Fadi Ibrahim
  
  thnx Monique i will
  need to go make some food
  i will tell u everything although i think u have also to tell me about urself

• Conversation started May 15

5/15, 5:23am
Jide Charles

Are u single?

• Conversation started May 20
• 
  5/20, 9:37am
  Alex LovesNature
  
  Hello Monique! My name is Alex and i like to meet new people and make friends. So, i would like to know if we can be friends. Thank you for your attention and sorry for bothering you.
  
  Does he think I wouldn’t notice the same message with a name change? Total douche.

• Conversation started May 28

5/28, 9:27am
Alex BbwAnd SsbbwAdmirer

Hello Monique! My name is Alex and i like to meet new people and make friends. So, i would like to know if we can be friends. Thank you for your attention and sorry for bothering you.

• Conversation started May 24
• 
  5/24, 3:10am
  Marie Claire
  
  hi can i be friend
  
• Monique: NO


• Conversation started June 23
• 
  6/23, 6:00am
  Sehilelhadj Elhadjsehil
  
  Please send me a friend request
  

• Conversation started June 26
• 
  6/26, 8:39am
  Koya Konan
  
  Hello, My name is Koya Konan 24 years, i saw your page here at facebook, I became interested to know you more. I will like you to contact me through my email; koya200@hotmail.fr I wait for your lovely response, i have something important to tell you. write in my email: koya200@hotmail.fr
  

• Conversation started May 28
• 
  5/28, 7:37am
  Rudy Orozco
  
  Thanx 4 accepting
  
• June 19
• 
  6/19, 8:51pm
  Rudy Orozco
  
  Hello there girl Hru?
  
• June 26
• 
  6/26, 10:59pm
  Rudy Orozco
  
  Hello how have u been?
  
  

We aren’t friends so I have no idea what he is rambling on about. These people are just crazy. They don’t know me from Adam or Eve, so I just don’t get why they contact me. Do they think I will respond like we are long lost lovers or long lost friends? I think they are sick and the messages are like watching a train wreck. I can’t stop them from sending them but I sure do get a good laugh from these douche bags. Lots more of this segment coming. I can’t help it if they send me the entertainment lol.
MoMo out!

Am I There Yet?

When I look back at my life ten years ago the memories are very sad. I weighed over 550 pounds. I was married to a feeder. I was home bound, bed bound and in a wheelchair to leave the house. The destruction that was done to my body is something I will never fully recover from. I had an offer from a doctor that I couldn't refuse when I decided to have Gastric Bypass Surgery. Even though I have lost 300 plus pounds my body still hates me for the past. I ended up with Lupus and we of course have no idea how long ago it started. It fills in all of the why’s as to my other health conditions. The doctors could never say to me it was all because I was fat. The truth is I had Lupus for at least fifteen years before they said for sure I had it. Most of the tests back then were inconclusive.

How does it feel to do all of this work and have people behave like it was just a walk in the park? I can tell you it isn't cool and really makes me mad. My fuse gets shorter every time I am insulted by a stranger who makes a comment about my weight. My eye doctor asked me why the weight loss surgery didn't work for me. I told him if he had read a bit further he would have seen that it worked very well with a 300 pound loss. But that’s not good enough and I was judged yet again. I made him feel stupid with a few comments of my own. I had the same thing happen when I went for a nurse visit to get my B-12 shot. I filed a complaint against her. She was way out of line and said why are you still so fat and you had surgery!..

I have worked so hard over the past seven years to lose the weight and keep it off. Who else do you know that has made it this long and not gained it back? Everyone I know has gained it back. I am terrified that it could happen to me one day. But I say to myself I have the tools and the training to stay on track. When I fall off the wagon I dust off and get right back on track. I am so tired of people telling me I am going to fail. I am tired of people telling me I am not good enough. I am tired of being judged. Last week I walked up into the face of a man who was staring at me with blatant disgust. I asked him if there was a reason why he was staring at me like that. I also asked if he had a problem with the way I look. He didn't respond and ran back to his car. I told you my fuse is short and I am sick of it. FYI people it has been seven almost eight years and I have NOT gained it back. The weight I did gain I lost it and then some more recently. I am only 24 pounds away from the new goal I made for myself. It is not the number on the scale that makes me smile. Being alive makes me smile. I am now a size happy. Just let me be happy and stop with the negative comments about weight loss surgery.

I am sorry for those who lost people to complications post op. I am sorry for the ones who lost the battle due to not being able to get any help. I am sorry for that person at home in bed not able to do anything for themselves. Your mind works fine but your body won’t let you walk more than a few steps. The food addiction is so far gone you don’t notice it anymore. I’m sorry that anyone has to ever go through any of the things I have experienced. I hope you know that you aren't alone and people do make it to the light at the end of the tunnel. I may not be able to walk without a cane anymore and need new knees and foot surgery, but I am happy to be alive. The physical pain I suffered to get here and the daily pain is no joke. Friends have told me they have no idea how I survived. I survived because I wanted to live. I have a family and friends who love me and need me. I am a survivor period and will never quit.
MoMo Out!

Random Losers and The Douchebag of the Week #4

 

Harun Reed ·

• hands look like over 40 lmao
• Saturday at 4:47pm ·
• Monique

Piss off Harun Reed. You're a douche, black don't crack. Delete!!! I haven't been on FB for days other than to upload these pics. I don't care what he thinks. I am happy to have both hands and all of my fingers.
25 minutes ago ·
Raj Singh
wash dc here can we chat?

• u wanna make some extra cash?
  
• how tall are ya?

andy pies

• hi hows you?
• nice pic
  
• uk here hope ok
  
• andy pies how are you??

Bout Victor Anna
11:19am

• Hello dear My name is Anna and i seek for true friendship and partner and i viewer your profile get interested in you, and if possible you write to my vie email so we can know each order very well! have a nice day Anna, annavictor002@yahoo.com
• Monique: I never replied to Anna which I am sure was some sort of fraud.

Sam

• you are hot
• im sam
  
• 25 m tx
  
• like to chat?
  
• i love choco bbw
  
• 1:46 AM

thatswhatshesaid

• hey sexy 3:08 AM

Me

• hi who are you?

thatswhatshesaid

• just a perv tht likes sexy blk bbes

thatswhatshesaid

• bbw

Me

• not into pervs

andy pies

• hi hows you?

andy pies

• nice pic

andy pies

• uk here hope ok

andy pies

• work at stables here

Umra Khan Bhai

• thx xxx
• hey do you want 100 dollar then i give you through a money exchange but you show me dance like a full body are you ready for this show now

10:28pm
Biggirl Gear

piss off
 Umra Khan Bhai

• what?
• i cant understand what are u saying?
• and dear i give you within 5 minutes ok

10:29pm
Biggirl Gear

How about this one, Fuck off
 Umra Khan Bhai

• dear through a western union i give you and i fuck you on cam live and you fune with me and show me right simple
• and u just easily want this victory
• ? now ready for this ?

• Conversation started April 22
• Benjamin Parker
  
  Hi Monique,
  I've read your reaction to my comment, when i told you your arms where, for my point of view, very attractive. If by some way i hurted you i sincerely apologise. I didn't think i could hurt you just by telling this...but it's a fact, and i'm sincerely sorry about it...
  Hope you a great day, and hope you'll have success for your plans....
  Benjamin
  
• April 23
• 
  3:17am
  Benjamin Parker
  
  Hi Monique,
  Yesterday i told you your arms where, for my view, splendid has they actually are. You had a strong reaction that, in a way, I can’t really understand. But I was, and I still am, sorry to disturb you so much for such a little thing… You dare to delete me if I still told you how much I love your arms. I decided to stop our friendship on facebook. I totally respect you, but I can’t support this kind of reaction. I want a free world where I can be myself, not a false and hypocrisis world where I have to simulate conformity. I am fed up to lie to girls when I have to told them what attract me with them is their eyes (in fact it’s their arms, their boobs,…) and many men are in the same situation than me: they just couldn’t tell the truth, or they’ll have to assume a girl with nervous crisis for a long time… And after that, girls are deceipted when the men goes away after a few time… Why ? Because of the false, the lack of sincerity, of reality in the relationship… I dream of sincerity, reality, tolerance, and most of the time I see conformity, normativity, censure and false…. The BBW movment was, in his beginning, a real hope for me, the promise of a real world breaking all this falseness… now some of his members wants to be as the social prescription ask, skinny and no fat… I am so disappointed about this… Did the real world lost the game ? I hope you the best, but I think we don’t have anything more to share…
  Benjamin
  
• April 24
• MoMo
  
  LOL I had to laugh after I read this. I am glad you chose to delete yourself. You have no idea how hard I worked to lose 300 pounds then the doctors leave me incomplete. I will always be fat and I am fine with that. I just need to be comfortable in my own body. Right now I am not comfortable with the extra skin hanging and hurting me. Did you bother to read the Blog story and see the photo of my arm cut open because it was caught under a sharp edge. Being cut, burned while cooking and not being able to find a winter coat to fit my arms isn't fun or sexy to me in any way. I have no idea what we shared at all. After reading this note I can see you were only my friend on FB to look at my fat in my photos. For that shame on you. I am a person with real feelings and you don't care about my feelings so deleting yourself was the right thing to do.
  
• April 25
• Benjamin Parker
  
  I'm very happy if you laugh when you read me. But i'm sorry that you unfortunately doesn't understand at all. I've been many times to your blogs and i consider you as a human been with feelings, thinkings, and things to tell and to share. But why do you want to opposite feelings and body ? it's the old occidental way of thinking, bringing opposition between the material body and the soul (feelings, thinkings,...). I consider you've suffer a lot with your body, and i respect you when you want to solve this problems. But why been so aggressive just because someone tell you such a little thing, yes your arms are sexy and i doesn't see the problem when i told that...why threathen me like that ? Why this bad reaction ? I'll be happy for you if you solve your problem by any way which you consider the best. I never see anybody only as fat, even if i'm attracted by fat peoples i'll never consider somebody to be only fat, and every human has feelings and is an important and interesting being... But it will be very hypocritical to ignore the body, humans are both souls and body and you can't ignore this. I hope my e-mail will make you laugh one more time, i'll be very happy if it does. But i also hope you'll understand a little bit....
  
• April 25
• MoMo
  
  I was in a bad mood from hearing it over and over. As you know you aren't the only one that said the same thing. This experience is long, hard and very emotional. The threat was not towards you. I deleted the person the comment was for. So now you see you over reacted as well by unfriending me. 

Game over and I have had nothing more to say to Benjamin Parker since this last conversation. Meeting people who only want me for my fat is a huge turn off. He knows something is wrong so he lies to the women in his life. Did Ben truly think he had found fattopia by joining the BBW Community? The man lives out of the USA and plays on line with women in America. If he truly wanted a BBW as his soul mate, wife, BFF he would work towards meeting them. So far all he is doing is looking at fat and boobs on line while jerking off to strangers who just happen to be BBW’s. The truth is most men on the internet looking at BBW sites and random video clips etc, aren’t really looking for love. They are just a bunch of perverts on the internet. Real men make an effort to pick up the phone and call. Don’t bother texting, don’t you want to hear each others voices? Don’t you want to spend real time with that person? Not on Skype either. Where are the real men at? I know you can’t all be gay, married, dead or a combo of all three. I blocked Ben so he can’t contact me again. I did however save his photo since he is the Douchebag of the week #4. Congrats Ben you made the cut.
MoMo Out!

Dreams Do Come True

When I was a child everyone said stop eating so much extra food. I wasn’t because my mom fixed our plates for dinner. What I was doing was having a love affair with the Hostess Bakery and the local doughnut shop. It took me most of my life to get a clue what food was doing to me. When you open that first pack of Zingers, then move onto the cupcakes the rush from the sugar was like a drug. In the last seven years I have struggled and fought as hard as I can to live a new life. My new life isn’t the dream I had when I use to say “One day I will lose weight to make my parents happy.”

I was living in a world full of food comas and delusions. Once I was an adult I said I was going to get down to a respectable weight for my own body. I had no special number in mind. Next came the dream of me walking in high heels while wearing a sexy black dress and a lacy thong. I was going to attend a party and be the bell of the ball after some miracle weight loss took place. I had a much more active life after I lost weight in some ways. But the dream was just a dream. My knees are in such bad shape that my doctor asked me how I can even walk on them.
Every step is pain. Every step of the weight loss process is pain. When my food was no longer my drug I freaked out. In the last seven years I have had lots of therapy to learn how to control my eating disorder and food addiction. I have good days and bad days. The bad days come with consequences. My surgery still works. I still throw up and still have ass on fire from the wrong foods.

My dreams of having a normal life slowly fades away. My list of illness’s scare my doctor, so I a sure John Doe isn’t interested in me. Dating me is a project. Weeks or months go by and I am fine. Next thing you know I could be in the hospital close to death. How do I explain that to someone I want to be in a relationship with? Men run scared when they find out. I have my family all around me, but a man in my life would be nice to have again. I have taken a two year break after the psycho stalker ex has been out of my life.

How do I learn to trust again? How do I sit through the lies and BS they spew at you? How do I pretend I am interested in his paint ball wins? I hate dating, HATE it! If I could go to a match maker I would. Till then I will dream of Mr. Right. Will he ride in on a white horse and throw his cape down so I don’t step in the mud? Will he let me be me and understand my craziness? Who knows this is just a dream for now.

I am still a work in progress. Lots of my dreams have come true. I made them happen and fought hard for them to happen. I am thankful for my life and all of the people who helped me get here. The haters still hate, but the best revenge is living well. Romeo where the hell are you, I’m getting impatient. That’s the Scorpio in me.
MoMo Out!

Goodbye Wings

The phone call came in and we are set with a surgery date. I had everything in order, even made a new Will. Things the week before surgery were hectic with lab work and several pre-op visits. The surgery was postponed for a week due to a schedule error. It gave me more time, but I was so anxious. I was off my Prozac and Xanax so I was a crazy bitch pre-op. My cousin was visiting out of the blue. Nothing felt like it was in place. I felt out of control and had no way to let go of the need to control any and everything that has to do with me. My dream was coming true. I felt like at any moment the rug was going to be pulled from under me. I was afraid something would sabotage it. I had so many emotions I was going to explode.

The surgery was done where the rich and famous go to the hospital in Beverly Hills. In pre-op they couldn’t find a good vein. Mine are small and like to roll. Everyone tried, now my hands and feet now have track marks. They had a cool machine to find your veins, but with every stick mine roll. I was taken into the OR with no IV and nothing to calm me down pre-op. Good thing this isn't my first time at the Rodeo. The IV was placed in my neck. Once in the OR the Anesthesiologist leaned the table back pressed on my neck wham bam IV in. They start to position me, arrange the oxygen mask, asked if I wanted music playing then I am waking up in post-op. A three hour surgery took five hours to do on me. It was amazing to wake up and I thanked God for that one. Total skin removed was 12 pounds.

My Mom and cousin were there all day. Other family members came and went. My brother who arranged this for me did the night shift with me. He stayed late talking with me about everything. The pain was a 10 post-op so they had me on a pain meds machine. Every 8 minutes you can push the button. I had zero use of my arms. I couldn’t even scratch the tip on my nose. My brother spent the night wiping my forehead, nose, eyes as I cried from the pain at some points. He was there for me and it felt great to have him there. He really went above and beyond on this on.

I was in the hospital for three days maybe four, still hazy from pain meds. Nothing is ever just over night for me. The first day home I fell and the paramedics had to come lift me out of the drive way. I had just gotten out of the car, sat on a walker but the brakes weren’t all the way on. It rolled and I went with it. It was over 100 degrees, I am hot, in pain and sitting on the driveway. No way to use my arms and you can’t pull them or even touch them. Bandaged from shoulder to wrist they were unclear till I mentioned using a sheet to lift me to my feet. It worked and I was up then straight to bed.

I seriously wanted to smack my dad for yelling at me for falling down. He says he was trying to tell me how to get up. I call bullshit and cut off communication till I felt better. My mom is exhausted and worried about me all the time. I don’t heal well as we know from all of my major surgeries. I developed a huge blood clot and it busted open my arm pit a few days later. Back at the doctors office he was able to milk it out as he called it. I woke up in a pile a blood that morning so I knew something was wrong. Wound care began the next day. At least my favorite nurse who has been there for me during all of my wound care was still working and my nurse again. She is my wound whisperer. Along with being kind, caring, compassionate, she is an amazing person and nurse.

We are at the 52 day mark post op and the healing is happening much faster than ever thought. One arm should be closed up soon. Having Lupus makes everything harder and takes longer for me. I have no regrets and plan to play this journey out till the end. I guess the no pain no gain would apply here. My thighs are next and I have no idea if I can do one more surgery. More to come stay tuned.

MoMo Out!

Neck IV

Post Op

Wound Vac was painful