A Divine Birthday

I know with any kind of relationship we all make some sort of commitment to that friend or lover. All of a sudden Kathleen’s birthday became my life’s mission. How come none of her other friends wanted to help me plan it? I had no idea the demands that went along with being her friend. I was recovering from surgery in 2010 and was in the middle of wound care. I came to visit Kathleen and stay the weekend for her Birthday. We had the party at her club. I was not involved in the planning because I was recovering. Jen planned the whole thing, ordered the cake and the strippers. She did a good job, but it just wasn’t good enough. It will never be good enough, will it? I began running a fever and my abdomen was swollen. The area was hot and red. I decided to go to the ER and get checked out. I wasn’t doing well at all and it was painful to even sit up. They looked at the surgery site and noticed that of course there was still a wound there but an abscess had formed.

The next thing I know I am being prepped for surgery. This was on March 15, 2010 which is my former friend’s birthday. We celebrated it on Saturday which was two days prior. We had plans for dinner and drinks at a local bar we like. I called before they sent me to surgery and told Kathleen that I was going in for emergency surgery so I won’t be able to go out tonight of course. Kathleen asked me if I was serious and said she knew it was going to turn out to be something bad since bad stuff always happens to me. Then she reminded me that it was her actual birthday and she was going to be forced to spend it with Jen and Johnny her live in domestic slaves at the time. She was pissed and of course it was her birthday so it was all about her. My emergency surgery was no big deal right? I had surgery later that evening all alone. Kathleen never came to see me and I was in there for a few days. She lived ten minutes from the hospital. If the shoe was on the other foot she would be going off half cocked. Ha Ha no pun intended.When I was released from the hospital, my parents picked me up and drove me home where my mom nursed me back to health.

Later on when I had a chance to talk to Kathleen about what happened she was not happy about how her birthday went. I was being chewed out for how her day turned out. I was told that she took Jen and Johnny to dinner and of course she paid. They have no jobs and were homeless before Kathleen took them in. After dinner they went to a local bar for drinks as planned. Of course she had to pay for their drinks as well. Kathleen went on and on about how no one cares and she always gets screwed over by people blah blah blah. Still no concern for my pain. I was cut open again, but hey that’s my problem not Kathleen’s. The pressure was on for birthday 2011. I was so stressed out it was ridiculous. I took Derek shopping with me for party decorations for her table. I walked around in circles trying to decide. Nothing I picked was going to be good enough. I had to pick the one that would get the least complaints. I went with the party like a rock star theme. Life was hell for weeks prior. Don’t for one minute think she didn’t remind me that I was having surgery on her birthday the year before. Kathleen never forgets anything and will always throw it back in your face years later.

Since March 15, 2012 is going to be the big 50th for Kathleen Divine we made plans. We talked about all sorts of things even going on a cruise to celebrate. I have no idea other than a party at her club yet again what the plan for the big 50th birthday is. This is a milestone that I will miss because she decided to screw me over. Now she will have to rely on her last two friends Laura and Fiona to plan her party. I have no idea how someone who was my best friend once upon a time could hang out with Fiona after what she did to me. Of course I know how and why, she has no loyalty to me and was not really my friend at all. Fiona fits the mold, she will do what ever Kathleen says and she is great at being a door mat. Happy Birthday to you Kathleen Divine. I am sure what’s left of the entourage will disappoint you as expected when you see your cake and table decorations. Oh hell, why even have a party that you will talk mad shit about later anyway? Get a Costco cake and some balloons, save yourself the stress people. More than half of her gifts will be re gifted to other people at some point next year anyway. Unless of course you can afford Tiffany & Co, then she will be happy if the gift costs more than $300.00. She loves her bling, but what ageing diva doesn’t. I know I love my bling too, but I am a long way from being 50. No one knows what will happen next.

MoMo out!

Local bar March 15, 2011 for the second birthday party.


Blueberry Vodka & 7up anyone?


The second birthday cake she hated it.


I made two of these one to sign and one to hang.


The first birthday cake which she hated.