My Wings

For the last year I have been going back and fourth with my insurance company. All of my doctors agree that the wings as I call them need to go. The wings being the extra skin that hangs from my arms due to my weight loss. But the big bosses say it isn’t covered. It is considered cosmetic. I have already had the surgery to remove the extra skin which use to be my belly. That was covered. Once I lost weight it was like caring around a bag of rocks in my pants. It would enter the room before I did due to it’s massiveness and the swing as I walked. My close girl friends and I use to joke about it, but it really was a huge burden to carry around. Once removed it weighed in at thirty pounds. I was promised that my arms would be done after I recovered from this surgery. Everything went well then fourteen days later an infection set in. I was sick for almost a year. It was a flesh eating bacteria and the photos made me cry. I was being eaten alive and had a hole in the middle of my tummy. The surgery site burst open and here comes the next year of wound care. Wound vacs, wound nurses, gauze, medical tape, wound gel, alcohol swabs, sponges, sterile q-tips. The tape takes off a layer of your skin every time you have to clean and change the wound.

In order to treat the infection I was on IV antibiotics. I would go to the infusion clinic and sit with the people doing there chemotherapy. Later they put in a pick line so I was hooked up to a machine that would  give me the antibiotics instead of being poked daily. I was down to 285 pounds, my lowest. I was sick and felt like I was going to die. I have no idea why it has to be so complicated when I have surgery. Would I do both surgeries again? Yes, 100% yes. It was hell on earth but it was all part of my journey. I need to lose 47 pounds to be where I want to be. Once there I will have my arms done come hell or high water. I never quit and I never give up on myself. I was extremely distracted for the last year with my own drama. Busy being stalked and abused by people who said they loved me. I will not let that happen to me again. I am almost to the finish line, my finish line. Not the finish line the doctors think I should be at. I just want to be comfortable with my new body.

I do not enjoy pulling a casserole out of the oven and burning my arms. I do not enjoy reaching for something as simple as a pen and hitting myself in the face when the skin came flying. So many things they don’t’ tell you that will become a huge part of your life post Gastric Bypass Surgery. It wouldn’t change my decision to have the surgery. I am seven years post op and still alive. Alive is the best thing I could have hoped for post op. I have my family behind me 100% from day one. I thank God for the most wonderful mother on the planet being my wound care nurse between RN visits. My life has never been easy. It has always been a fight to get things done. It took me three years to be approved for the Gastric Bypass because I was a high risk. I was going to die with or without it. I rolled the dice and took my chances. I am happy I have been able to keep it off minus the 20 pounds I gained. All I can do is keep moving forward. I am back on track and the binge eating is under control for now. I have small moments, then end up puking from a bad decision. There are still consequences for my actions. My tool still works for me. Wish me luck on getting my wings removed. I know I will get it done some way some how. I need to feel complete. I need this done for me and only me. I feel unfinished, but I will fix that.
MoMo Out!
The wings up close and personal.


Cut open wing skin was caught under a jagged edge

Belly staples after they removed skin. It was almost perfect.

There is no hiding the wings.