Thanksgiving and being Thankful

Every holiday I spend it with my entire family. My entire life has always been about my family. I am thankful for so many things that I had to share some of them. Last year at this very time I was in the middle of being stalked by my ex. He was arrested the day after Thanksgiving last year. I just found out he is in jail again for 90 days and then is on some sort of 18 month program. He will fail the drug tests and I hope he spends a longer time in jail next year. I am very thankful that the Derek Peter part of my life is almost closed. I am thankful that I sued and was able to reach a settlement with my former BFF. That chapter of my life is now closed. Gone for good and I will never look back. People keep asking if we would ever makeup and be friends again. I have to be honest and say No chance in hell. The trust is gone so the friendship is gone. I was hurting for so long about the loss, but now I have moved on. I am thankful that 2013 is almost here. The last year and a half of my life has been a real nightmare. I am so thankful that I am still alive and I fight everyday through the pain and illness to stay that way.

I am thankful for: my family, friends, food in my fridge, a roof over my head, the end of very painful relationships, love, happiness, what’s left of my health, being able to walk even though most days I can hardly stand up. I always have hope and I will never quit fighting to be here on this earth. I am thankful for the blessings I have received in my life. I love that I have made so much progress on my dreams. I am about to close the book on so many things that were 2011 and 2012 events. My heart is now full of hope & love again. In 2013 I will put myself back on the market and maybe meet someone special. I won’t hold my breath on Mr. Right but maybe Mr. Right now will do till I am truly ready to attempt to trust another man. Team MoMo has been there for me. They believed in me and had my back. Thank you, Kristie, Jessica, Emmy, Tracy, Indigo, Becca and everyone else who has stood by me throughout everything that has happened. Those of you that were forced to choose a side and had the balls to say no I won’t choose, I applauded you for standing up to my former friend. This person will now remain nameless. I will no longer give away any of my energy to this person. I want to put out positive energy in order to get it back. Pay it forward as much as we can is how life should be. It can be something as simple as the man who held the door open for me to exit and I held the door open for an elderly woman with her walker as I was leaving. A nice young man  came along and took over holding the door so I could leave and she could enter at the same time. It was paid forward by all four of us. The little things in life like that count and contribute to the bigger life picture. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Thank you all who keep reading my Blog. Don’t worry about any changes there will always be something going on in my life and the community that I will write about it.

One Love

MoMo Out!

Just a peek at what I make for the holiday. Now I am off to get cooking. Tomorrow is the big Turkey day and my family is always hungry for my cooking. These are a few of last years photos.

Mac & Cheese from scratch.

 

Candied Yams

The Bird all carved up and ready to serve

EL Pato Pork

The Wall of Veterans

My Father served in the United States Army and was in the Vietnam War during the 60ies. Throughout my entire life the war has had some sort of affect on him and our family. It is not just the solider who suffers, but the families of the soldiers suffer right along with them. The war did things to my father that I didn’t know about till I was an adult. My father was in an explosion during the war. They thought he was dead so they body bagged him. I am not sure how long he was in the morgue before he woke up inside of the body bag. My dad doesn’t like to talk about the war. He will share stories about how life was for him while in Vietnam and the other places he had traveled to. He does not talk about the killing, death and the loss of fellow soldiers or the locals killed during the war. He does suffer from PTSD and has received help for it. Once he started those classes his whole life changed and so did ours. Veterans need our love, help, support and anything else we can give to them. My dad declined to go see the Wall with me tonight. He said he wasn’t in the right frame of mind. The memories he has I am sure are very personal. I told my dad I understood and I went with my niece. It was a moving moment to see the Wall, touch it and see all of those names. This was the part of the wall that travels. The rest of it is in Washington DC if anyone ever wants to see it. My father served and fought for our country. Once he got home it took him decades to fight for what he was entitled to from the VA. He is a 100% disabled Veteran and deserves all that goes along with it. He has suffered with his injuries from the war. He has had too many surgeries to count in an attempt to repair the damage done to his body due to the war. I am sure the exposure to Agent Orange he endured during the war has played a roll in how I turned out. It could explain why I was born with a heart murmur and how that turned into so many other medical conditions. I am sure one day that will all come out. It really isn’t about compensation to the Veterans, it is about honor and respect. I thank you Daddy for fighting in a war that should have never of happened. No one wins a war they all suffer from loss in the end. A few months ago a total stranger walked up to my dad, shook his hand and said thank you for your service. He noticed his Vietnam Veteran hat with all of his special pins. It was touching to witness the respect from one solder to another. He was young and about to be deployed onto his second tour to Iraq. The last decade of war has just created another generation that will grow up like I did. Maybe this time the help will be there as soon as they get home. I respect what the men and women in our military do for us. Freedom isn’t free and they pay the highest price so we can sleep at night. Thank you to all of the Veterans out there.
MoMo Out!

		The Wall VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Change: It Happens

In the last year I have experienced many major life changes. I was a victim of domestic violence and people told me not to tell. Don’t ask don’t tell is bullshit. Not telling someone is how you end up dead. I have learned the hard way that the law can’t do much for you even with a restraining order. I filed a police report every time Derek violated the restraining order. I stood in front of a Judge, an open court room full of people and played a voice mail where Derek threatens to kill me. As I left the court room a woman took my hand and told me to stay safe. I was touched by the kindness of a complete stranger. Maybe she was there for the same reason? No matter what it was, it touched me. I knew I was not alone and I had to tell others what happened to me. I still have nightmares about Derek trying to kill me. I wake up in tears sometimes because the dreams feel so real. I truly have lost hope in the justice system. I followed the rules and he got three years probation for torturing me and threatening my family.

The friends in my life now have been here long before Kathleen Divine was around. When my entire world fell apart last year they helped me pick up all of the pieces. As the time passes so does my anger. I am still very hurt and I have no idea how long it will take for those feelings to change. I never want to see Derek Peter again. I stay as far away as I can from Orange County. It is full of bad memories. Yet Derek still finds the time to attempt murder by running me off the road, slash my tires, drain the oil out of my car, threaten and stalk me. The torture in the last year has been unbearable. I even went as far as asking my therapist if it was my fault. I knew it wasn’t, but I needed some sort of verification to help me get past it. One day he loved me. The next day he was cheating on me. The day after that Kathleen Divine handled our breakup by moving Derek into her office across the hall from me. I know right about now if you are new to my Blog you are saying this cant be true. It really is sad that it is all true. I am still sad it all came to this insanity. My life is a Lifetime Movie of the week.

Kathleen Divine asked me to remember the good times we use to have. The betrayal runs so deep I cant remember much before it. Then when Derek turned on Kathleen she ran to me for help. My only suggestions were get a restraining order and an alarm system. Oh and next time don’t live with your best friends ex. The worst part of the last year was the loss of my best friend. Kathleen Divine use to be a part of my family. My mom was her black mama, and I loved her family like they were my own. After all of the years we spent as friends never in a million years did I think our friendship would ever end. I found a card the other day that arrived with flowers from Kathleen two years ago when I was sick. That was my friend who wrote that card and sent those flowers. I miss her at times but then the bad memories take over. I don’t know this evil diva. This has all been like a bad divorce. There was money, bills, property to split which I still don’t have and now the law suit I filed against Kathleen Divine is coming up. I refuse to be mistreated ever again.

If I can help someone with my stories then my life shall not be in vain. I have grown and learned from this experience. I still don’t trust men, but I am not sure if I ever have. I have had the support of my entire family through all of this. My parents have been my rocks. They will forever be solid in my life. I am blessed, thankful, loved and relieved that I am getting closer to closure. I was happy to celebrate my birthday this year. I am another year older and wiser. The next year of my life will be better, because I am making it better. My life, my rules, my stories and you can’t change the facts. I guess if it had gone any other way I might not have rediscovered my love of writing. Maybe one day I will write a book about my crazy life. Thank you all for reading, even the haters.

MoMo out!