The phone call came in and we are set with a surgery date. I had everything in order, even made a new Will. Things the week before surgery were hectic with lab work and several pre-op visits. The surgery was postponed for a week due to a schedule error. It gave me more time, but I was so anxious. I was off my Prozac and Xanax so I was a crazy bitch pre-op. My cousin was visiting out of the blue. Nothing felt like it was in place. I felt out of control and had no way to let go of the need to control any and everything that has to do with me. My dream was coming true. I felt like at any moment the rug was going to be pulled from under me. I was afraid something would sabotage it. I had so many emotions I was going to explode.
The surgery was done where the rich and famous go to the hospital in Beverly Hills. In pre-op they couldn’t find a good vein. Mine are small and like to roll. Everyone tried, now my hands and feet now have track marks. They had a cool machine to find your veins, but with every stick mine roll. I was taken into the OR with no IV and nothing to calm me down pre-op. Good thing this isn't my first time at the Rodeo. The IV was placed in my neck. Once in the OR the Anesthesiologist leaned the table back pressed on my neck wham bam IV in. They start to position me, arrange the oxygen mask, asked if I wanted music playing then I am waking up in post-op. A three hour surgery took five hours to do on me. It was amazing to wake up and I thanked God for that one. Total skin removed was 12 pounds.
My Mom and cousin were there all day. Other family members came and went. My brother who arranged this for me did the night shift with me. He stayed late talking with me about everything. The pain was a 10 post-op so they had me on a pain meds machine. Every 8 minutes you can push the button. I had zero use of my arms. I couldn’t even scratch the tip on my nose. My brother spent the night wiping my forehead, nose, eyes as I cried from the pain at some points. He was there for me and it felt great to have him there. He really went above and beyond on this on.
I was in the hospital for three days maybe four, still hazy from pain meds. Nothing is ever just over night for me. The first day home I fell and the paramedics had to come lift me out of the drive way. I had just gotten out of the car, sat on a walker but the brakes weren’t all the way on. It rolled and I went with it. It was over 100 degrees, I am hot, in pain and sitting on the driveway. No way to use my arms and you can’t pull them or even touch them. Bandaged from shoulder to wrist they were unclear till I mentioned using a sheet to lift me to my feet. It worked and I was up then straight to bed.
I seriously wanted to smack my dad for yelling at me for falling down. He says he was trying to tell me how to get up. I call bullshit and cut off communication till I felt better. My mom is exhausted and worried about me all the time. I don’t heal well as we know from all of my major surgeries. I developed a huge blood clot and it busted open my arm pit a few days later. Back at the doctors office he was able to milk it out as he called it. I woke up in a pile a blood that morning so I knew something was wrong. Wound care began the next day. At least my favorite nurse who has been there for me during all of my wound care was still working and my nurse again. She is my wound whisperer. Along with being kind, caring, compassionate, she is an amazing person and nurse.
We are at the 52 day mark post op and the healing is happening much faster than ever thought. One arm should be closed up soon. Having Lupus makes everything harder and takes longer for me. I have no regrets and plan to play this journey out till the end. I guess the no pain no gain would apply here. My thighs are next and I have no idea if I can do one more surgery. More to come stay tuned.
MoMo Out!
Neck IV
Post Op
Wound Vac was painful
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